Things you need to know
My best friend and I have a tendency to drunk call my mom at all innebriated hours of the morning just to say Hi.
My mom's name is Linda.
One time, we came home late after a night out. My boyfriend at the time was sleeping, and did not appreciate being woken up. I accidentally broke a glass of water as I was tucking in my friend on the futon. Trying to be quiet, I was loudly "Ssshhhhhh"ing while sweeping up the broken glass...
Today, we were having a conversation about our parents funerals and subsequent burial plans...
His mom, a wonderful woman, passed away a few years ago and his Dad is now remarried.
Sometimes, we are very innapropriate....
The Conversation
Friend says:
so dad's made it very clear that he is to be buried beside mom
headstone already carved, etc
so what do we do with the new wife?
Me:
HA
Friend says:
put her out back?
Me says:
she gets on the other side?
Me says:
i would think she needs to decide what to do with herself when she's dead
or her kids
it's not your responsibility
Friend says:
ya, i guess i'll let the son figure out where to plant his own mom
Me says:
where am i going to plant mom?
Friend says:
get her burnt
compact
Me says:
oh yes that's right
that's what we're doing
Friend says:
we'll be able to party with her forever!
Me says:
and then i'm supposed to drop her all over the golf course
Friend says:
no no - 4am drunks, instead of calling her on the phone, we open the lid and shout at her ash
Me says:
HAHAHA
Friend says:
and i can say funny things like, "nice ash linda"
Me says:
shout at her ash....omg tff
Friend says:
i can see us now - 65 years old, falling down drunk shouting "shhhhhhhh" and trying to sweep up linda's ashes off the floor because you spilled them
Bottom Line
...OK, maybe you had to be there
And don't worry mom, we'll take good care of you!
