Ok so not that I strive for perfection, or even believe it to be attainable but aren't there times when you think - "wow, it was so close I could feel it!"
For the most part I see the glass half full. Ok, even more than half, almost filled to the brim. And thats a good thing, I believe. Negativity breeds negativity and it isn't something you want to welcome or introduce in your life at any given time. Scratch that - at any time. It's the "secret", the power of persuasion, neuro linguistic programming, whatever you want to call it. However you see things they take shape so all those philosophies, or hocus pocus, or balogna, or whatever you want to call them - they make sense! In theory....
Then there's that nagging, that self-doubt if you will, that devil on your shoulder that creeps in every now and then and makes you question your own 'glass half full' mentality.
What is it that leads us to believe there is always something better out there? A different outcome to the current situation? Slight tweaks on behavior and/or action that could change the entire outcome? And why even allow our thought process to go there when right in front of us is most of what we wish for and what we want?
Ah the secret rantings of a sometimes over-analytical mind. Thank goodness I get the 'half glass full' ideology and more importantly SEE it before I see the other, lesser half.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Odd circumstance
Ola! Comos este?? (can't figure out how to get those upside down!)
So it's Friday. I'm at home. And relatively sober. I am on call you know! Still, an odd set of circumstance for me for a Friday. It's my first on call night in at least - um - let's say 6 - 8 years. I guess I've grown in responsibility because I remember one on call night with coworkers sucking back free tequila with the Local Pub bartender, riding with half my body out the moon roof and then some - what should have been awkward, but we were too drunk to notice - porn watching at a coworkers. Now that's bang for your buck I tell ya! (ok, wait that didn't come out quite right...). Ah well, there were no calls so all police services 911 systems remained functional and there were no officer safety issues as a result of our shenanigans (except for maybe the drive home...)
Been stupid busy at work lately. Unfortunately just seems I'm going through the motions and that's about it. Really need to work on that spark that lights the fire of my so called career before the embers completely die out. If someone knows of a good, strong combustible substance I can use - please advise.
So, why am I here? What's my point? Don't really have one. Just bored. Funny thing is I'm sitting by the fire typing this on my phone and something has just gone wacky and my focus is up 2 paragraphs up so I have literally NO idea what I'm saying!
Wow. I proof read that and it wasn't too bad!
So I could go on about the upcoming provincial election (ok - not really; or perhaps the apathetic state the world's kids are in these days; remembering 911; how stupid most women are in relationships; and how men - well I haven't completely figured them out yet, but I'm certain they don't belong all in one box - are just baffling in a good way sometimes...but I don't really care to, and I'm sure none of my few (2) readers want to hear it, so I won't. (plus it's getting awfully annoying trying to type when I can't see what has ended up on the proverbial paper...
Untill next time when I may, or may not have something of substance, Sayonara!
(spanish flava courteous of my mind wandering to next weeks Jargarita party when I'm NOT on call!)
So it's Friday. I'm at home. And relatively sober. I am on call you know! Still, an odd set of circumstance for me for a Friday. It's my first on call night in at least - um - let's say 6 - 8 years. I guess I've grown in responsibility because I remember one on call night with coworkers sucking back free tequila with the Local Pub bartender, riding with half my body out the moon roof and then some - what should have been awkward, but we were too drunk to notice - porn watching at a coworkers. Now that's bang for your buck I tell ya! (ok, wait that didn't come out quite right...). Ah well, there were no calls so all police services 911 systems remained functional and there were no officer safety issues as a result of our shenanigans (except for maybe the drive home...)
Been stupid busy at work lately. Unfortunately just seems I'm going through the motions and that's about it. Really need to work on that spark that lights the fire of my so called career before the embers completely die out. If someone knows of a good, strong combustible substance I can use - please advise.
So, why am I here? What's my point? Don't really have one. Just bored. Funny thing is I'm sitting by the fire typing this on my phone and something has just gone wacky and my focus is up 2 paragraphs up so I have literally NO idea what I'm saying!
Wow. I proof read that and it wasn't too bad!
So I could go on about the upcoming provincial election (ok - not really; or perhaps the apathetic state the world's kids are in these days; remembering 911; how stupid most women are in relationships; and how men - well I haven't completely figured them out yet, but I'm certain they don't belong all in one box - are just baffling in a good way sometimes...but I don't really care to, and I'm sure none of my few (2) readers want to hear it, so I won't. (plus it's getting awfully annoying trying to type when I can't see what has ended up on the proverbial paper...
Untill next time when I may, or may not have something of substance, Sayonara!
(spanish flava courteous of my mind wandering to next weeks Jargarita party when I'm NOT on call!)
Friday, July 29, 2011
Common Sense...not so o
Well, it's been a while. I guess I've been busy. It is summer time after all and I would much rather spend my time out doors then inside at my computer. Even more so when I'm chained to my desk working for 'the man' 5 days a week and I only have a measly 4 weeks vacation which I've already used most of. Seriously with the odd day here, a week in the spring, a week in the summer and other obligations (i.e. lawyer appointments - a whole other posting) those 4 weeks are all too short and precious. And no, I'm not a government employee so I don't get to bank time, have personal or volunteer days or banked sick time either. I can't imagine how that 4 weeks works for those with kids. If your kid is sick that's a vacation day. If the day care is closed that's money finding another sitter or vacation time. It's not real 'vacation'. Alas, this was why I'm here today....
Just been through an experience and I'm not sure what to think. I've been taken for granted before. I know this. Most times I'm too nice and let things slide I probably shouldn't. I know this as well. For the most part I beleive I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. I recently had someone tell me I was the most non-adversarial person they've dealt with. I'm a lover not a fighter and a giver not a taker. I know this. I think *most* others who know me know this as well. Yet, there are some who should know me better than most who believe the complete opposite. It's baffling. And it bugs me. It bugs me to the core. Hurts actually. A lot. I'll admit that.
-----work-----
OK, well I got interrupted and now I have to leave.
Perhaps I'll finish this another time.
Just been through an experience and I'm not sure what to think. I've been taken for granted before. I know this. Most times I'm too nice and let things slide I probably shouldn't. I know this as well. For the most part I beleive I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. I recently had someone tell me I was the most non-adversarial person they've dealt with. I'm a lover not a fighter and a giver not a taker. I know this. I think *most* others who know me know this as well. Yet, there are some who should know me better than most who believe the complete opposite. It's baffling. And it bugs me. It bugs me to the core. Hurts actually. A lot. I'll admit that.
-----work-----
OK, well I got interrupted and now I have to leave.
Perhaps I'll finish this another time.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Sometimes...
Sometimes I wish I was witty.
Sometimes I wish I was more assertive.
Sometimes I wish I was beautiful.
Sometimes I wish I was more courageous.
Sometimes I wish I was creative.
Sometimes I wish I was more passionate.
Sometimes I wish I was thin.
Sometimes I wish no one I know read this blog.
Sometimes I wish everyone I know read this blog.
Sometimes I wish I would love me just for me....
And sometimes I do.
Sometimes I wish I was more assertive.
Sometimes I wish I was beautiful.
Sometimes I wish I was more courageous.
Sometimes I wish I was creative.
Sometimes I wish I was more passionate.
Sometimes I wish I was thin.
Sometimes I wish no one I know read this blog.
Sometimes I wish everyone I know read this blog.
Sometimes I wish I would love me just for me....
And sometimes I do.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Cooky Conversations
Things you need to know
My best friend and I have a tendency to drunk call my mom at all innebriated hours of the morning just to say Hi.
My mom's name is Linda.
One time, we came home late after a night out. My boyfriend at the time was sleeping, and did not appreciate being woken up. I accidentally broke a glass of water as I was tucking in my friend on the futon. Trying to be quiet, I was loudly "Ssshhhhhh"ing while sweeping up the broken glass...
Today, we were having a conversation about our parents funerals and subsequent burial plans...
His mom, a wonderful woman, passed away a few years ago and his Dad is now remarried.
Sometimes, we are very innapropriate....
The Conversation
Friend says:
so dad's made it very clear that he is to be buried beside mom
headstone already carved, etc
so what do we do with the new wife?
Me:
HA
Friend says:
put her out back?
Me says:
she gets on the other side?
Me says:
i would think she needs to decide what to do with herself when she's dead
or her kids
it's not your responsibility
Friend says:
ya, i guess i'll let the son figure out where to plant his own mom
Me says:
where am i going to plant mom?
Friend says:
get her burnt
compact
Me says:
oh yes that's right
that's what we're doing
Friend says:
we'll be able to party with her forever!
Me says:
and then i'm supposed to drop her all over the golf course
Friend says:
no no - 4am drunks, instead of calling her on the phone, we open the lid and shout at her ash
Me says:
HAHAHA
Friend says:
and i can say funny things like, "nice ash linda"
Me says:
shout at her ash....omg tff
Friend says:
i can see us now - 65 years old, falling down drunk shouting "shhhhhhhh" and trying to sweep up linda's ashes off the floor because you spilled them
Bottom Line
...OK, maybe you had to be there
And don't worry mom, we'll take good care of you!
My best friend and I have a tendency to drunk call my mom at all innebriated hours of the morning just to say Hi.
My mom's name is Linda.
One time, we came home late after a night out. My boyfriend at the time was sleeping, and did not appreciate being woken up. I accidentally broke a glass of water as I was tucking in my friend on the futon. Trying to be quiet, I was loudly "Ssshhhhhh"ing while sweeping up the broken glass...
Today, we were having a conversation about our parents funerals and subsequent burial plans...
His mom, a wonderful woman, passed away a few years ago and his Dad is now remarried.
Sometimes, we are very innapropriate....
The Conversation
Friend says:
so dad's made it very clear that he is to be buried beside mom
headstone already carved, etc
so what do we do with the new wife?
Me:
HA
Friend says:
put her out back?
Me says:
she gets on the other side?
Me says:
i would think she needs to decide what to do with herself when she's dead
or her kids
it's not your responsibility
Friend says:
ya, i guess i'll let the son figure out where to plant his own mom
Me says:
where am i going to plant mom?
Friend says:
get her burnt
compact
Me says:
oh yes that's right
that's what we're doing
Friend says:
we'll be able to party with her forever!
Me says:
and then i'm supposed to drop her all over the golf course
Friend says:
no no - 4am drunks, instead of calling her on the phone, we open the lid and shout at her ash
Me says:
HAHAHA
Friend says:
and i can say funny things like, "nice ash linda"
Me says:
shout at her ash....omg tff
Friend says:
i can see us now - 65 years old, falling down drunk shouting "shhhhhhhh" and trying to sweep up linda's ashes off the floor because you spilled them
Bottom Line
...OK, maybe you had to be there
And don't worry mom, we'll take good care of you!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Hey there Coach!
Perhaps I'm in the wrong business. It seems lately people keep asking me for relationship advice, and to them it sounds good and it even works! (For the most part...) Maybe I should start charging!
I find it funny (ironic funny, and a little 'ha ha' funny) whom people ask for relationship advice. Now, don't get me wrong, even after one failed long term and a failed marriage I think I give pretty good advice! Then again I think I have some life experience which others can benefit from. You know, why reinvent the wheel right?
That reminds me of something that baffles me. It seems that a new career trend lately is 'coach'. There are life coaches, relationship coaches, retirement coaches, business coaches, professional coaches, business coaches....and the list goes on. Not to discredit those that work long and hard at this profession, and there are some (even I am a certified Neuro-Linguistic Practitioner! well I have the certificate anyhow), but those who just pop out of college or university and deem themselves life coaches? Really? I would like to think that any coach I rely on for life altering advice and direction, or listen to, has had least had *some* experience in that particular discipline or arena. I think it takes more than reading from a book, or going through mind exercises to deem yourself qualified as a 'coach'.
So, back to my relationship advice. And, as I mentioned I do believe I have the life experience that qualifies me to provide this! (And it's my blog, so as far as I'm concerned I'm qualified to do/write whatever the heck I darn well please!) Relationships are like pendulums or metronomes (not to be confused with urban garden gnomes as my coworkers tell me...). Sometimes you can get the beat right off the bat, but for the most part it takes a couple swings to get it right. The first time you swing way off to one side and although it seems OK, you'll soon realize it's all wrong. The second time, knowing you didn' tlike the way it swung the first time, you'll go far to the opposite direction. Again, it sounds OK for a little while, but you soon realize there has to be a better tune. Only the third time, once you've experienced both extremes and know what you don't want (and more importantly what you do) can you find the right beat and the perfect song.
I find it funny (ironic funny, and a little 'ha ha' funny) whom people ask for relationship advice. Now, don't get me wrong, even after one failed long term and a failed marriage I think I give pretty good advice! Then again I think I have some life experience which others can benefit from. You know, why reinvent the wheel right?
That reminds me of something that baffles me. It seems that a new career trend lately is 'coach'. There are life coaches, relationship coaches, retirement coaches, business coaches, professional coaches, business coaches....and the list goes on. Not to discredit those that work long and hard at this profession, and there are some (even I am a certified Neuro-Linguistic Practitioner! well I have the certificate anyhow), but those who just pop out of college or university and deem themselves life coaches? Really? I would like to think that any coach I rely on for life altering advice and direction, or listen to, has had least had *some* experience in that particular discipline or arena. I think it takes more than reading from a book, or going through mind exercises to deem yourself qualified as a 'coach'.
So, back to my relationship advice. And, as I mentioned I do believe I have the life experience that qualifies me to provide this! (And it's my blog, so as far as I'm concerned I'm qualified to do/write whatever the heck I darn well please!) Relationships are like pendulums or metronomes (not to be confused with urban garden gnomes as my coworkers tell me...). Sometimes you can get the beat right off the bat, but for the most part it takes a couple swings to get it right. The first time you swing way off to one side and although it seems OK, you'll soon realize it's all wrong. The second time, knowing you didn' tlike the way it swung the first time, you'll go far to the opposite direction. Again, it sounds OK for a little while, but you soon realize there has to be a better tune. Only the third time, once you've experienced both extremes and know what you don't want (and more importantly what you do) can you find the right beat and the perfect song.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Wine and cheese randoms
So, it's been awhile...
Interesting, when I first started this blog I figured it would be a great way to express myself outwardly. You see, I used to think that although I have many friends, I feel that I have very few that are close enough to me that I feel free to express those things that are truly internal. I mean, don't get me wrong, those who know me know that I'm pretty much an open book. However, there are still those things that, with only a few, you share. And even at that, I really didn't have anyone. So, why not do it to the wide open public of the world wide web? (Sounded good at the time...)
Now, when I started these postings, I was in a very different place than where I am now. At the time I felt the need to analyze my internal thought process. Figure out who I was, where I was going, even where I was. Life, as I knew it, was in turmoil. Ok, not turmoil (I don't really do that extreme), but everything that I thought I knew really wasn't. I did know that much, but I didn't know where things would take me and what was to come. Things are different now....
I think my analyzing has proven to me that I knew the answers all along....
I don't really need the answers. I know who and what I am and where I came from. I know what I want and where I am going. I know that those who are close to me and remain in my life do so for a reason. They see in me what I do. As for the rest, they come and go and sometimes it's fun, but ultimately they don't really matter. I don't mean to sound cynical, it's simple really. They don't. Those that stick are of substance. They 'get' it. They 'get' me in all my freaky nuances and habits. I am to them what I am to myself...Special, unique, fun and utmost worthy.
To the few of you who all into this category I thank you. To those of you who don't, well I am truly sorry for you because you don't know what you are missing. But that's where it ends. To those of you to come who will fit and are special too I look forward to the opportunity, good times and great memories ahead.
May all of you take the time to reflect on all the good that has come over the past year. Embrace it, remember it, learn from it and continue to bring and pay it forward with you.
Cheers to a very Merry Christmas and all the best to everyone in 2010!
May you find solace and comfort in you.
TTFN
Stephanie
Interesting, when I first started this blog I figured it would be a great way to express myself outwardly. You see, I used to think that although I have many friends, I feel that I have very few that are close enough to me that I feel free to express those things that are truly internal. I mean, don't get me wrong, those who know me know that I'm pretty much an open book. However, there are still those things that, with only a few, you share. And even at that, I really didn't have anyone. So, why not do it to the wide open public of the world wide web? (Sounded good at the time...)
Now, when I started these postings, I was in a very different place than where I am now. At the time I felt the need to analyze my internal thought process. Figure out who I was, where I was going, even where I was. Life, as I knew it, was in turmoil. Ok, not turmoil (I don't really do that extreme), but everything that I thought I knew really wasn't. I did know that much, but I didn't know where things would take me and what was to come. Things are different now....
I think my analyzing has proven to me that I knew the answers all along....
I don't really need the answers. I know who and what I am and where I came from. I know what I want and where I am going. I know that those who are close to me and remain in my life do so for a reason. They see in me what I do. As for the rest, they come and go and sometimes it's fun, but ultimately they don't really matter. I don't mean to sound cynical, it's simple really. They don't. Those that stick are of substance. They 'get' it. They 'get' me in all my freaky nuances and habits. I am to them what I am to myself...Special, unique, fun and utmost worthy.
To the few of you who all into this category I thank you. To those of you who don't, well I am truly sorry for you because you don't know what you are missing. But that's where it ends. To those of you to come who will fit and are special too I look forward to the opportunity, good times and great memories ahead.
May all of you take the time to reflect on all the good that has come over the past year. Embrace it, remember it, learn from it and continue to bring and pay it forward with you.
Cheers to a very Merry Christmas and all the best to everyone in 2010!
May you find solace and comfort in you.
TTFN
Stephanie
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